Happy Halloween from EES!!!

It was a fun afternoon at EES!  The kindergarteners (and some adults) looked great!!!

The Gift of Failure

The Gift of Failure

            Last night I attended a speaker series in Newburyport with the author of the NY Times best seller, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So their Children Can Succeed.  Jessica Lahey is a NY Times columnist, author, parent, and teacher.

            She spoke about how important intrinsic motivation is to a long-term creative endeavor (Education) and how to help children to become intrinsically motivated.  Three things are needed for children to become intrinsically motivated; autonomy, feeling competent, and feeling connected. 

             Jessica explained that an autonomy supportive parent is empathetic and listens but lets the child try for him/herself before stepping in.  She explained the difference between competent and confident.  Confident is a more general feeling about oneself, whereas competent is specifically born out of actual experience.  Parents often do not allow children to build competence because we do not want them to fail or feel pain.  Carol Dwek focuses on a growth mindset, where individuals are able to focus on the hard work that is needed to achieve.  Our job is to help support children to gain a growth mindset.  Finally, Jessica spoke of connection.  She said it is important for children to know that the people around them will care and support them no matter what.  If we provide children with these three things we are helping them to succeed in life.  

            Ms. Lahey told parents that “being a good mom is helping your child develop strategies rather than solving their dilemmas”.  I highly recommend this book to parents.  This was a great lecture and looks to be an insightful book.